The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

"Death is part of the circle of life".



Doesn't make it any easier to deal with when it happens though does it?

How do we make sure that when death comes we know what to do?

How do we know whether to fight death tooth and nail or to give in and go quietly?

How do we snatch loved ones back from the grip of death's icey fingers?

Is death really neither good nor evil?

How does death pick and choose who lives and who dies?

Is there a certain number of days we are destined to live and no more?

Can death be bargained with or even cheated?

Is there a way to prepare for death?

Do we know before hand when we are nearing death?

Do you know death?



I do.

Today I had a friend I grew up with to die. He was 34 and died of a massive heart attack with no warning, not even high blood pressure. He leaves behind a wife and son age 12.



As I went to the family's home all I could think of were the jokes he played on his sister and I when I would stay at their house. The laughter he always seemed to have and the fullness of life that seeped out into the people around him.



What do you say to family in times like this? Nothing much. I listened and held and patted. Then I washed the dishes and set up the table for food and generally helped organize a few things. Every little bit that I did kept them from having to deal with it in their time of shock and grief. It was all I could do. I could not take away the pain or make him live again. No one can.



He was my escort in two of his sister's weddings. I watched him turn from a teenager into a wonderful guy. I will miss him.

My friends tell me all the time that I should write a story and put on here but I never know what to write about. Which is sort of funny as I was an English major and had to take creative writing out the wazoo. They always tell you to "write about what you know". The problem is...what I know about is rather boring to the average person. What is it I know about? Social work and counseling. Who wants to read about that stuff unless you are another social worker or counselor.



Maybe someday I WILL write something interesting. I know I have always wanted to do a children's book but have not been able to put the dreams in my head to words. Someday....someday.

Have you ever had to manage a long distance relationship? Let me tell ya.....it is HARD.

My guy and I have been dating for 15 months now. I must admit he has done most of the driving and for that I am grateful. I rearranged my schedule as much as I was able and even took him to work with me when I could not. He never complained.



And so now, he has been working many long hours and many days in a row and I find myself frustrated that I can not see him and when we do talk he is tired and doesn't have much to say. I could drive there but he would be working so there is really no point in going. I want to complain and rail at him to quit and move closer...blah blah.....but then I remember.......he never complained once....and I can do no less than he. So....tonight....I complain here so that I do not complain to him.



I want him here beside me, not tired and 3 hours away. Sigh.....I Know it could be worse but right at this moment in time....I want to feel a bit sorry for myself and complain the hell out of it......there.....I admit it....and yes I guess admission really is the first step to healing....cause I do feel a bit better.



In any case, if you have read this.....thanks for listening. And I will be better tomorrow.......things are always brighter in the sun...duh!!!